Celebrating "we"

Up together,Down together
Laugh together,Cry together
fun together, fight together
Life together, Love together!

My best buddy, my rock solid support system, sense injector(phrase patented :D), fight master,  love of my life.. Happy "Reception" Anniversary sweet heart! :) :)

mere desh ki dharti..

One of my friend has recently come back from US after staying there for a good two and a half years. After coming back, she started cribbing about everything, pollution to start with , traffic, power cuts, vegetables, fruits, facilities and life in general. I was a little pissed off initially to hear her crib cause it's just 2 years that she had been in US and has been in Bangalore all her life. Nothing new that she has been cribbing about, all the problem have been existant from long long time.


Now that I've put it in writing, it hurts more. Why haven't these issues been addressed in these 2 or more years? Why is the quality of life only degrading by the day?

The everyday struggles include power cuts, limited water supplies, increasing prices and traffic and also the pollution.

You curse yourself for settling in India when you are in the middle of your bath and you are left with half a bucket of simmering hot water and with no cold water supply
( The vice versa would've been still better to deal with). You have water but still can't use it. As useless as it gets.
These everyday struggles compell me to think if I have done the right thing by settling back in India, may be I would've had a better life if I settled abroad like most of my friends. But then these thoughts vanish the time I see my daughter play with her grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, visits places attached to my childhood memories, has a similar childhood as her parents and also when I meet my parents when I feel like(which is more than twice a year) and when they need me and talk to my mom in the same time zone. Being there for your parents when they need you, celebrating festivals together, spending liesure time with them is definitely something that can be achieved if you are here.


I am happy for the guys who have settled abroad, living a better quality life(if not a better life), away from the chaos, away from the loved ones and the lovely food(a general observation that its only the food that Indians settled in US miss the most and have a long list of cravings whenever they visit home )

Am back and with a bang! Life is totally happening at the moment and am all kicked about it! Now that you believed that part, let me tell you more :)
Its the 21st century and good and honest people still prevail! I was lucky to meet one (other than the one I see everyday at home :) ) at office.

I dropped 200 bucks in the office parking lot in the morning and didn't even realize it untill  I saw a postit stuck on my bike saying "if you have lost money, contact me at #####". I almost ignored it thinking how can I lose any money and then checked my jerkin pocket to find the 200 bucks for petrol missing.
I called this guy the next day and after some queries, he asked me to come and collect the amount. I was so super excited to meet this person, that I didnt even ask his name! I just took my money, thanked him profusely and came back jumping !

200 feels like a big amount when you lose it or find it, I would've never attempted to return the money if I found it in the parking, I would've simply justified my act by thinking how do I know whose money is it and whom and how do I return it to! Now that I have met this super cool guy, am inspired! Its really a pleasure to meet such good people and I've decided to be one :)

Ps: I have kept the postit and the 200 bucks safe to keep reminding me of this resolution.

Reality Bites-- Ouch!

Kids can be too honest sometimes.. too honest for our comfort.
Was having a simple game of identifying colours with Akshara. She identified all colours on her dress and then on mine, then she pointed to my nose and I asked her which colour, she thought for a while and to save some grace I offered "Brown? " , she bluntly said "NO, Black!" ! :-|

I offered her other choices dark brown, wheatish cream, but she would not budge! I finally had to relent to her choice of Black!

The sheep sings off with her 3 bags of wool! :)

Break time

Sometimes your body just gives up on you..no matter what the mind says. It had been one hell of a hectic week/month and it continues to be so. First the exam then lots of in house guests, then the maid leaving amidst chaos, Akshara's birthday+her falling sick and my work has left me completely exhausted.

I want to get transported to Maldives(Duh! In my dreams!) :) Okay, I am ready to settle down for any calm, serene, seashore place with pleasant weather and no one to disturb. I need a break! I need some sleep, and am dying to laze around with yum dishes being served time to time. Ironically, I also want to badly hit the gym, with vengeance, its been a month since my last visit!


Best part is there still is a feel good to all that happened, I could successfully survive through all the madness and get things done of course with lots of help and support from N. He must be equally exhausted. Come on N, lets go go go!! :)

Silence

The smile on your face let's me know that you need me


There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall

You say it best when you say nothing at all

-Ronan Keating
  A song that touches your soul everytime you hear it, with such superlative lyrics, and the music to die for.   Silence can do things for you which a 1000 words cant, its golden and its also shattering. It hurts more when you dont say a thing.   After 2 weeks of working from home, today when leaving for work, my daughter didn't even say a bye, her silent look which said a lot of things to me, will leave me guilty for the rest of the day till I pick her up again. I wouldn't have felt as bad if she had just cried or got angry, cause it was expected. She did none of that. She didn't say a thing.

My Princess turns 3!

3 years? Already? With so much happening around in the daily humdrum, the time just seems to fly, which I know obviously is not the case. Time going at its own pace, and we are the ones hurrying up . Here's taking a minute to relive the wonderful journey so far.

From her birth till she turned one, I was so looking forward for her to grow up fast, to start talking, walking, running and lots of other stuff.

Second year was total joy ride filled with all her antics and a new event every other day. She started expressing, going to school, learning new things , making new friends.

The third year just flew by, me trying to cling on to any babyness that's still left in her. She is fast becoming independent, being able to clearly communicate what she wants( and not) making it so much more easier(or tougher?) for me. I no longer have to guess what my lil baby is going through and trying to communicate through her wails. I actually miss that, the feeling of triumph when we actually nail the problem and make the lil one happy. Now the only challenge thats left is to try to convince her to do what I want or do things my way( occassional occassion that is!)
Her charming innocence, so precious that I want her to be this way all her life. The here to stay cry-to-get-things-done manipulation is still bearable. My lil baby growing to a lil girl has lots of new interests, activities and tastes. She can spend minutes(if not hours) before the mirror admiring herself, making faces. She wouldn't step out of the house unless she is satisfied with the way she looks, her dress, matching bindi and bangles and clips.. the list goes on. She is a big show off :) (Her teacher commented in last PTM that she shows off her dress every other day )
She loves to dance, enjoys music, watches movies(of her choice , of course!) , loves to travel and is a big foodie! She loves to try different dishes which appeal to her eye and she is only making me a better cook by each day. Fish and eggs being her favorites, she has also just started to develop a sweet tooth(She can lick the chocolate sauce clean).

These days she has acquired a new quality, feeling shy in a very feminine way. The moment she is shy, she closes her face with her tiny hands and looks askance which is like a typical 'Adaa' and very unlike me(Sigh!)!

The best part for me is she is absolutely adaptive and accommodative. I put her in to any situation and she adapts like magic. She lets me be, lets me work, pursue hobbies, study, go gymming, cooking and travelling. She blends in to my routine without causing any glitches and also seems to enjoy herself.

God Bless you my sweetheart, with all the happiness in the world and best of health. I will try my best to fulfill God's blessings :) and I will make sure you enjoy your day tomorrow and the whole year ahead. Love you sweety.

Awesome threesome!

Super excited today. My sister and her family visiting us today. Just can't wait to see our 2 little ones, Arush and Ishaan and so looking forward to the chaos the threesome(A,I,A) are going to create. I don't care if they break a thing or two.

Arush has always been special for me, he was the first baby I held and felt the joy. First baby whose poop and peep didn't seem all that bad afterall :) . Our entire family went crazy with his arrival. Whatever he did was special! Inspite of all of us being sleep deprived zombies, we revelled in all his baby activities.

After Akshara's arrival, the bonding got even stronger. Their cousin chemistry is plain awesome. They fight, jump, dance, play together and thats a sight to see!

Ishaan, the latest naughty arrival in to the family , is a joy. Everything he does, looks cute. The way he walks, they way he climbs, the way he breaks things!

Looking forward to the picnic (read Chaos) the 3 kids are going to create in the next 1 week!

Race 4 continues

Am on a high! Basking in my little moment of glory I had only dreamt of. I cleared the certification exam with a modest score of 83%, one more question and a 90 would've sounded so much more better! But nonetheless, I am happy!

With one hurdle crossed, there are so many more to be handled. Akshara's caretaker cum domestic help has given us a big shock. Some reality checks and she failed us big time. Time to look for alternatives , alternatives that neither I am sure of, nor is Akshara.

With Akshara's bday coming up and lots of people in the family visiting us, its going to be one hectic time managing work schedule and the guests and also planning for the party. The house is in a mess and needs big time cleanup.

Mission Cleaning up begins 3:00 PM today sharp.

Race - 4

Starring - Akshara, N and Me
(Un)Supporting cast - Ratna, Boss, Cabbie, etc etc

Last year, I was wishing that life had become too routine and if only it was a little more eventful. Someone up there heard me hard and decided to give what I wished for and more! Am sure he is having fun now watching me huff n puff, trying to catch up with everything that's happening around.

Since January, I have been living life per day basis, each day throwing up a new challenge. I take on the challenge and head in one direction and before I make any progress, the basic premise for my direction changes and I find myself totally back to square one.

I am badly waiting for my exam to get over tomorrow, I've had enough! Seriously. Too many hurdles for just preparing and giving the exam.

I will complete this story tomorrow with full details. Tension surmounting.

August 26, 5:30 PM IST.

Ramzan special - Chicken keema Kabab

Its awesome to have muslim friends. They are friendly , generous and super talented. Thanks to my daughter, her bestie Manha's mom is my friend too. This being the Ramzan month, Akki and me qualified as poor and needy who should be given the iftaari(I think thats the word, not sure) , the food they eat to break the day long fast. Its a feast. Entire table spread of specialities, day after day.
All this left my N sulking that he is not getting to eat any of those. So in order to satisfy his foodie soul, I picked up a recipe from Shabanaji and did it for him. Big hit in the house and hence this share. Try it and you will not regret.
All you need:
1) Chicken mince 250 grms
2) 3 bread slices- sids cut
3) 1 large /2 medium onions finely chopped
4) Ginger garlic paste - 1 tbsp
5) 4 greenchilly - finely chopped
6) Curry leaves and corriander leaves - finely chopped
7) Vinegar - 2 tbsp
8) Salt, chilly powder, dhaniya jeera powder, garam masala - as per your taste.
9) 1 egg beaten
10) bread crumbs
11) Oil - 4 tbsp

Method:
Add vinegar to the mince and mix properly. Leave it aside for 10 minutes.
Now add all the rest of the ingredients to the mince. Crumble the bread to small pieces and add to the mince.
Leave this mixture to marinate for an hour. Bread will help bind everything.

Now heat a pan, add 2 tbsp oil for shallow fry.
Take small portions of the marinated mince, flatten then on your palm, shape them, roll them in the beaten egg, then coat them in the bread cumbs and shallow fry them on low flame on the pan.

Keep the patties thin to ensure complete cooking on mince, since this is shallow fry and not deep. it takes about 10 to 15 minutes for these kababs to cook on the low flame.
Serve them hot with green chutney. Heavenly!

Thank you Shabanaji!

Miss you RJ!

I have been lying low on motivation at work for the last couple of weeks. The enthu has died down. On introspection, I found the reason for this sudden low is my teammate RJ. She had been my arch Rival. Yes, you read that right! Right from the day 1 in the project, I hated her, every day, every minute. She is bitchy, over smart, clever and everything else that I am not :) (I take the privilege to say that since this is my blog! If you beg to differ, say it somewhere else :) )
We were both in the same shift, the competition rife, constant struggle to outdo her kept me on my toes and I enjoyed it. It was more like a mind game, trying to predict what she would do next and what she actually meant when she said what she said. We constantly did stuff to outsmart each other and somewhere in between, there might have been a remote possibility of budding friendship which we didn't choose to explore.
She left our team 2 weeks ago due to personal constraints, and here I am missing her terribly. My biggest motivation is gone!

Thanks RJ for bringing out the best in me, You are being missed. I will look forward to working with you again, whenever that is!

Thoda hai, thode ki zaroorat hai

Yet another independence day celebration in India, all it means is more vendors at traffic signals selling Indian flags, bands and other accessories. Its pathetic to see kids being made to sell that stuff. Ironically enough, the dream India our freedom fighters envisioned!


The struggle and meaning of Independence is now a mere chapter in history books for kids today. All they know about our Independence day is that its a holiday and a celebration at school where they perform.

If only the schools took some extra effort to organise better activities for Independence day to create awareness amongst the children about their responsibility to build a better India for a better future. Just making children practise and dance/sing/march past is not helping anyone.

Why not spend the money they collect for the costumes or for organising the show on providing clothes to the underprivileged children on that day? Why not let senior students teach the junior underprivileged children that one day? Why not distribute fruits to govt hospital under privileged patients than distribute sweets amongst the school children?

Unless this awareness is created, there is no way a child is going to realise the value of whats being provided to him/her and what so many other children of their age are deprived of.



There are so many people around me who have money and who have an intention to give back to the society but do not know how! Giving back to society or serving the underprivileged needs more thought and effort than money. Some ideas which are pretty much doable and will value add:

1) If you are living in an apartment, start a collection drive, one per month. One month you could collect just a fistful of grains(rice, lentils, pulses anything) from each flat in your complex and donate this collection to a charity organisation/NGO in your locality.

2)You could start a stationary drive, notebooks, pencils, slates , collect just 10 ruppees from each flat and buy stationary and provide to under privileged children.

3)If you know of any old age homes/orphanages in your locality which are in dire state, you alone donating a lumsum one month is not going to solve their problem. Create more publicity for the orphanage, create a facebook page for them, register them via paypal and enable online donations. Ask your friends abroad to donate just 1$ every month.

4) Sometimes more than money or anything materialistic, all the orphan children need is your time. Spend one day of your weekend at one of those orphanages, trust me it will do a whole lot of good to them and to you too.


We have celebrated our independencr enough and its time to move ahead towards becoming a developed country. Instead of blaming the govt about how corrupt it is and how useless, lets do our bit ..

Rocking week of August '12

This week has been a mixed bag, travel, work, celebration, happy, stressful and everything else!

It started off with a long drive to Hyd, with our usual fave stop over at kurnool for some yummy super hot dinner. That restau is something else I say! Right by the side of highway, no great ambience, but the food he serves, addictive! Drive was awesome, with some drizzles and music and lil disturbance from the daughty.

Another 4 hr drive to Basar and the purpose of the trip was met. Akshara thoroughly enjoyed writing on slate. Mom got her a pattu langa and she looked super cute in it.

Its a different high to meet your parents and spend some quality time. Monday being my weekly off from work, I got a chance to go with mom n dad to Yadagirigutta and Surendrapuri. It was good to be the center of their attention for those couple of hours( privilege I got as hub and akshara were at home, else I feature last in the list). Surprisingly dad let me pay the bill for lunch, I was happy. I left around 40 bucks as tip and dad was a lil furious, usual round of class for me, that I dont value money, why I left so much as tip :-D 20 bucks wouldve been enough and all that. Dad, you are real cute! Keep doing that! How much I miss those everyday class peekuds :)

Then it was N's Bday. This year, I struggled to decide what I should gift him. Its usually tough to get gift ideas for guys, and with so many occassions every year , its all the more tough to keep the surprise element going. What money cant buy, time and effort can. I decided to make it special for him this year and surprise him by gathering all his old friends who are still in hyd and bring in his bday. It took some effort to get their numbers and coordinate, but it was worth it. We went for a midnight biryani buffet and the party rocked with the gang of friends.

Work wise, it has been a lil turbulent with new changes being introduced to schedule , I am really not sure how I will cope up. Fingers crossed as of now. Cheese keeps moving, change is the only constant.. all these are good to read and state to someone else but not so good to experience it first hand! Cheese Buggers!

For the rest of the week, am looking forward to meeting some of my friends who are in Hyd and shopping of course!!!

Study Hours!

Inspiration: One of my ex-colleague quit her job and joined a college to pursue further studies. All this after having 2 babies. Last I heard she is doing great academically. Happy for her.

Desperation: I have a certification voucher that expires 30th of August. If I clear that, its going to give a huge edge over my bunch of super talented team members and cut throat competition.

Frustration: Inspite of the fast approaching exam date, surmounting course material to be reviewed, am not doing a thing to get past this exam successfully. The occassional day when guilt becomes overbearing, I open the cours material and breeze through a couple of pages, with absolutely nothing registering in my mind. The next time I open the same page, the content doesn't even seem remotely familiar. Am stuck on the same page, same para, same line for the last 2 days.

Botheration: Am blaming it on my age cells that am not able to concentrate and move rapidly through the course material. Fact is am not even trying. Am sitting like the lazy queen bee doing nothing and hoping for things to fall in place automatically.

Realization: Am wasting too much time(with hardly any left), being ridiculously shameless in accepting all this and writing it here and hence wasting more time, and inspite of this realization, sitting and smiling at the computer , checking my gmail and fb updates and the work mail.

Serious now! Sign off!

Nobody toucheth` my Cheese!

Couple of days ago, I read an article where the writer said, he was inspired after reading the book "Who moved my cheese?" and realised that he was leading a very very comfortable life. He went ahead and changed his job, office being the farthest from his home and a profile totally new. He changed a job in which he was flourishing and the office too was comfortably located from his residence. Strange people in this world. Strange here is my perspective though.

Same night I dreamt that I was loathing in a big block of cheese, licking it, enjoying it and fighting with anybody who dared touch my cheese! I am in a much comfortable space (cheese :) )today , and cannot fathom why I would move out of this which helps me balance and have peace of mind. Have I become less adventurous, Am I missing out on something, or is it something to do with age?

The copy of the book "Who moved my cheese?" is lying right there in the shelf, I tried reading through it a couple of times before but it scares me..

Men, Marriage and More

: Boy meets girl, they fall in love. Life looks beautiful, perfect and surprising how easily they met their Ms/Mr Right while he rest of the world is struggling. Boy pampers girl with shopping trips, flowers, chocolates and all. Girl wants to do something special for the boy and goes ahead and tries to cook something sweet n nice for her Mr Right. She cooks, but the end result of course was not as nice as she wanted it to be. She still takes it to the boy. The boy is overwhelmed, thanks her for the efforts she took for him, praises the not so nice dish as if its the best dish he ever tasted and she is the next best cook(after his mom of course!!) he has ever met!


They get married. Honeymoon period

: Newly wed Wife wants to impress her husband by cooking something nice and of his liking. After a lot of effort , she manages to pull out a dish . Husband after  eating(with a straight face), realises he is newly married and needs to praise his wife on her efforts.
Husband: Its nice honey, but may be there was a tad bit extra salt there, but thats ok , am sure you will do it better next time.
Wife encouraged by nice words: Oh sure, I will definitely make it better next time.


Post the honeymoon period, husband and wife settle down in to the regular world, start empathizing with the rest of the world and get in to the daily grind. Whoever said it was all rosy and love would get us through. We still need to eat to live and love.

: Wife cooks still with the same enthu to serve her husband and family something healthy and tasty to eat.(Author of the post being a girl, will give this benefit of doubt to all wives :) ) . Wife serves the food.
Husband(with a straight face) : Just eats. Doesn't say anything.
Wife: How is it?
Husband(With a puzzled straight face on why this question): Yeah, its good.
Wife: Why didnt you tell that before? You tell me its good only after I asked.
Husband: ???

: Wife cooks. Husband eats.
Husband: There is something missing in the dish. Why dont you call my mom or someone before cooking to ask how its done.
Wife(thinking) : I should never have asked him to tell how the dish was, the straight face was so much better to handle.
Sigh!
----------------------------------***End of story.. look for moral below***---------------------------

Dear Husbands,

A lot of effort goes behind planning, procuring, learning and cooking the dinner that you eat with straight faces. We as wives , do not expect you to thank us everyday for what we do. We do it out of our love for you, to make sure you get to eat something nice and healthy. A little acknowledgement , occassional appreciation from you would make us wives feel all the effort was worth it. Yes, criticism is also welcome, but not that frequently. Remember, its the same effort that goes in to making any dish, good or bad. Its just that sometimes the ratios go bad, it still doesnt mean we put in lesser effort or our intention of serving you tasty food was not there. When you do something, its human to expect a feedback. We are not saying you appreciate us everyday, but you surely will know when there has been an extra effort put in by seeing the dish that was made. Acknowledge/Appreciate before we ASK. trust me, you are only going to see better results by taking that small step. You could apply the same work funda you apply at work, Appreciate and get more work done!!
Yes, we know that men are from Mars and have issues being vocal about their feelings, so to help you out, your acknowledgement/appreciation can come in the below forms too:
1) Smile at us after eating the first bite. We will know.
2) Raise your eyebrows and nod your head, we will be glad.
3) Lick your fingers, we will be happy :)
4) Clean your plate and empty the dish(clear it with rice or roti), we will be delighted.
5) Be a little diplomatic when you criticize, camouflage it coz trust me, a bad remark after all those efforts that you didnt like it, leaves us sulking!
Thats all we want you to do! In your own lil way, tell us you are not taking our efforts for granted and do acknowledge!
Yours lovingly,
Wives


P.S: N, Are you reading this Honey?

This week..

I loved the week thats gone by! It started on Monday with shopping at commercial and ended on friday with shopping at Central! whoopieeeee! Nopes, I have not added much to my already overflowing wardrobes, but still the very act of shopping peps me up! Shopping on friday was completely impromptu and I totally loved it.

It had been equally hectic week at work too, escalations, incidents, problems, attitudes, discussions and documents. But it was good. I like it that way.

Made it to gym 4 days this week, which I thought was good enough! What I realised on friday was that, the gymming isnt helping much, the jeans just got tougher to fit in to. Jeans shrink everytime we wash them, don't they? :D

Couple of cooking disasters too.. but that's ok. who is complaining anyway? :)

Akshara madam has started behaving like every other toddler, trying the teary way of getting things done at the drop of the hat! The moment I say NO to any of her demand, the loud cry starts instantly with tears rolling down her cheeks in the waterfall model. What's surprising is that, the moment she gets what she wants, the tears also stop rolling midway on the cheeks. Some manipulation that! I have been giving in too much, and am sure that banging from N is not very far away!

Parenting thoughts..

Parenting can leave you stressed out, confused, nostalgic and happier all at once! Its a process which evolves you, you learn continously and you keep going back to your childhood and realize how you have been brought up.
I keep going back to my childhood to see if I could trace back a similar situation and how my mom/dad dealth with it. Not that I can apply it as is now, the kids have changed , the growing environment has changed but it only makes it a little easier for me to decide on.

I have also realized that, my parents never burdened me with the feeling that they have sacrificed a lot for me or have dedicated all their life in bringing me up and providing everything for me, and hence I need to perform better to justify all their efforts. They were never the "Always around the kid" kind of parents, but still imbibed in me the feeling that I am loved and they will protect me and will always stand by me when need be. Mom continued her studies after marriage, after kids, went on to having a successful career as a school teacher, participated in cultural activities and always led an active life. Still, we were never neglected, we were given the right amount of independence and freedom to be able to be take right decisions and be responsible for what we do, and of course there was always this case that we knew mom will get to knowof everything we do even if she is not present around us all the times!
She is my inspiration, she took motherhood as another role in her life and not her life. She did everything for us, we were well taken care of all the time but she still managed to take out time for herself, developed individuality and enjoyed her life to the fullest.

I do not want to burden Akshara harping that I sacrificed so much for you, now u better perform in your studies and justify my sacrifices. I do not want her to live in a constant pressure of performing better and making her parents happy since they did so much for her.
The challenge lies ahead of me to imbibe in her the right amount of indepence and responsibility. Tough journey ahead.. Bring it on!

How much is too much?

It gets a little uncomfortable when people you are not very close with start sharing their most personal problems with you and there is hardly anything for you to do to help them out of their problem or even suggest them something to come out of the crisis they are in. 
I am not sure if its sheer coincidence or what, but in the past 2 weeks, I have been the agony aunt twice, once for my colleague and another time for my neighbour. Not that I share a super friendly relationship with them, but they have shared such personal problems which made me really uncomfortable.
I was sitting there confused , listening to their problems , not knowing what to say, not knowing what they were expecting out of me. May be all they wanted was some outlet to vent out their problems and feel better, but it left me all down. I do not like to hear problems to which I cannot offer any solution, it makes me feel powerless, helpless. It could be anyones problem. Their problems left me frustrated. I have enough in my plate to deal with and things like these, throw me out of my balance.
May be I am overreacting but seriously, why would I share my problems with someone whom I know will not be able to help me in any which way? Is it ok sometimes to just be there listen them out and leave it at that? The problem may be is with me, I cannot leave it at that. It continues to bother me.

N teases me that I think a lot unneccesarily and hence the grey hair, may be he is right!

Siblings -Revelry and Rivalry

Last month , my dad lost his younger brother and was inconsolable. He was in shock and was not ready to accept that he had lost his brother, companion, best friend and support system forever. Theres a void that cannot be filled by anyone, not him mom, wife or children. Dad lost his elder brother to cancer 15 years ago and younger brother to heart attack. Today he stands alone burdened with the responsibility of his mom, his elder and younger brothers family and his own family. I never saw him so distressed and low in my entire life, not even when he lost his dad. He always had his younger brother to share all his problems, to seek advice, to share a joke and laugh out loud and everyday nitty gritties. They made big plans of staying close by post dad's retirement and have a blast. One unfortunate event, and all plans are left shattered.
Ironically, last month I also witnessed a case of sibling rivalry , which was totally uncalled for. My mom's sister and brother. My aunt went to my uncles place for a month and those small tiffs have left huge scars in their relationship for life.
I still dont know why the blood thicker than the rest didnt work in this case. O may be I can just hope that in future it will come in to affect and they will patch up.

Love them, hate them, fight with them.. they are totally here to stay! Siblings! A special bond, to which nothing else can come close if nurtured properly.

If I look back, without my sister my childhood wouldve been so much boring and eventless. I cannot even imagine what it would've been like. We fought over every damn thing under the sky, clips to rubber bands to dresses to books to shoes.. everything! Most importantly mom n dads attention :)
The only time my sister lived in peace was before I was born I guess. But I know even she will agree, what fun it had been. We still fight, even today but we both know, given any day we both will stand up for each other. She can ask me for anything and she knows I will get it done for her and vice versa. I must also mention here that I am actually twice lucky, for being blessed with equally wonderful sister in laws. They are among the very few people I can trust my daughter with. The bond is special.

Today, I stand inspired not to deprive Akshara of this special lifetime experience which she cannot get through any of her friends or even cousins. I know what chaos my life is going to be, too much hardwork, life is going to be totally topsy turvy but in the hope that someday she is going to thank her mom like I do today!

P.S : I  only stand inspired as of today, no progress has been made yet :)

Checked in

In Pune right now. Checked in to Le Meridian , one of the best hotels of Pune. Its beautifully done and amazing room. But mazza nahin aaraha hai. I am terribly missing my daughter and H and just want to get back home and back to my routine life at Bangalore.
Last 1 week had been too taxing, too much travel , too much of emotional disturbance, and icing on the cake was today when I hospitalised for a bad stomach upset followed by low BP with no emotional support/physical help around. It was deppressing to say the least to be not able to share your suffering and all together a different struggle to keep the spirit up :)

Last week kept me away from my daughter for 4 days and I have to say, it was tough. I love the juggling routine with her around, and I actually didnt know what to do when she wasn't around. I still wonder how I spent my weekends before she was born and life was so so so boring back then :)
Love you baby and miss you so much... mwaah!

This one is another daughter isnpired post..

Its raining cats and dogs in Bangalore, everyday its a struggle to reach home safe and dry, thanks to the muddy skiddy roads and overflowing underpasses. The peak traffic woes are a given during the rainy season. While I was cribbing about my feet getting dirty, my dress getting mud stains, little did I notice that my daughter was enjoying the rain.
The other day I was taking her out on a fairly clear evening for a drive, and on the way to parking lot there were a lot of puddles. The first puddle my lil one came across, she jumped right in to it splashing the water all over. I tried to be mad at her for splashing the dirty water all over her and me but oh boy! the joy on her face .. totally worth it! All she cared was the fun she got out of the water splash, she just didnt bother about her feet getting wet or her dress getting wet. It was pure innocence wanting to have fun in a puddle of water. I could never get myself to do that, inspite of the fact that its fun and the feet can be washed and dress can be cleaned!

Why do we all grow up in to such moronic adults missing out on the fun in lil things of nature?

Pressure cooker life

Did I just few days back post I was happy? I so wish I could say that again. Right now I feel like a pressure cooker, ready to blow up any time! I also do not have a whistle to release the pressure.
Its surmounting. To keep up to things, to try and fit a lot of things in one day, to be able to maintain good health, to cook everyday, to reach office on time for calls, to reach home without getting drenched, to make sure there is something for breakfast tomorrow, to be able to catch some sleep, to be able to follow the serials, to be able to catch up with friends and the icing on the cake is to return to home to an angry husband and silly pampered child and a maid on leave.

I know its grandparents birth right to pamper their grandchildren silly but the amount of time and effort it takes to get back the children to their normal state is enormous and attrocious. Not to forget the frustration meanwhile. The kids become this so not them kids, throwing tantrums, wanting to be carried all the time and so very fussy! Arghh last thing I want with so many other things to be taken care of.

I will get through, I know. I always have. If I have managed to smile and laugh and win a series of high pressure one minute games at ofc in the last 1 week, I can do anything. All I need is a big smile and a tight hug, an assurance am not alone...

Where do I stand?

During our stay at Maldives, there was an earthquake at Indonesia  followed by the Tsunami alert. We were on a small island somewhere in the Indian Ocean with nowhere to run for shelter. To escape Death. It was scary. I wanted to live longer, I wanted to protect Akshara, I was wishing, hoping and praying, the tsunami doesn't happen, not for us but for so many others around us. The only solace was we 3 were together through the ordeal, had it been only N stuck on that island, I would've completely freaked out and somehow reached where he was.

After a close encounter with warning of death, its obvious that you tend to intospect. This is my life and have I made it large is essentially the only question you try to keep finding an answer for. You realise the value of people around you, your family , your friends,  what you have been blessed with and if you have treasured them enough. Every problem you worry about then seems insignificant. I also wanted to say sorry to number of people I had hurt, knowingly/unknowingly.

What I have is today, and have I made most of it? Have I done atleast one thing today that makes my existence here worthwhile? Have I inched towards the purpose of my life? These are some questions I would like to answer everyday before I go to bed. I want to spread cheer and give back to the society I live in. I want to do something for the deprived children, old people and the baby girl infants being tortured to death for being a girl. I do not want to die before serving my purpose and what I do today is all that matters. I had big plans of saving money and putting it to good use after couple of years down the line. Bad planning. I have put my baby step today towards my goal, and hoping to do something considerable in the days to come(if there are!)

In a happier Space..

Kuch tho hua hai
Kuch ho gaya hai

Smiling more often, feeling happier from within, life actually looks good! Am absolutely loving it!

Its not picture perfect, there are issues, but am not complaining!

Maldives - Mesmerizing, magical and memorable

It was time for our annual out of the country vacation. And after a lot of additions and deletion of options we zeroed in on Maldives. It was actually on the wishlist from a long long time. If you check out Maldives pictures on the web, am sure it will end up on your wishlist too.

Its a group of islands and each island has an exotic resort, so our first challenge was to zero in on the resort. Bad resort could result in a bad and expensive holiday. Everything in Maldives is super expensive for the obvious reason that right from water to matchbox to a pen everything is imported. For us all it mattered was for the exorbitant charges, it better look the same as it is on the website and give best in class service.

The travel agent helped us finalize on Angasana veluvaru resort, which gave us some spring discounts and a sea plane ride from Male airport and also a complimentary full board for Akshara. It did work out a lil lesser than the other resorts we had in mind.

We planned for a 4 night 5 day tour, which left a huge void in the pocket but the trip was worth every penny. Sheer luxury and exotic locales. You actually feel like living a dream. Turquoise blue beach all around, white sand, coral reef, greenery on the island, your private swimming pool , super aesthetic villa with the foam spring cot.. aagh.. I so want to go back and live the rest of my life there doing just nothing! :)

There is actually very lil for you to do there and that's the beauty, there is no hurry to get up early in the morning and catch that bus to visit n number of tourist places. All your days in Maldives will be very slow paced and at leisure.

The beach is so inviting and serene , you would be just pulled to go in to it. The moment I saw the private pool in our Villa, I jumped in to it. So beautiful and so inviting. YOu wake up in the morning and you get the view of this beautiful blue beach with green coconut trees and white sands. You come back from your breakfast and you see your private pool enticing you. Cool breeze and a walk on the white sands fill all your evenings. Starry night with the sound of waves is your thing for the night. Did you wish for anything else?

A special mention to the deep sea snorkeling. It was the most unforgettable experience for me in the entire trip. I went alone as N was not confident he would be comfortable with his limited swimming skills. The snorkeling guide gave me a life vest and the snorkeling gear and asked me to just jump from the ferry in to the deep blue sea. Those 5 seconds of jumping from the ferry and floating back on to the surface were actually very scary and then came the view of the paradise. You keep your head up and you see the vast ocean and the blue sea. You put your head down and you see the beautiful world under water. You are on your own inching forward, looking at a world you knew existed but not that mesmerizing, all you hear is your every single breath. You can see the fishes looking at you and turning away like you were an untouchable of their world. Those schools of fishes in all sizes, shapes colours... breathtaking! God created them with lot of interest trying out all his coloring skills!

Must Try: If you happen to visit Maldives, do stay for a day at the In ocean Villas, you will feel you are being pampered silly. You will feel like a royalty and a dream come true villa all yours for a day! Every hour counts then and you want to make the most of it. Over the sea hammock, Infinity pool, reclining sofas on the terrace overlooking the sea with zillions of stars to look at. Heaven

We blew up most of our last years savings in 5 days and every penny was worth it. I still don't know the exact figure we spent on this trip all inclusive, I don't want to feel guilty for the indulgence. Living a dream does come at its own cost and as long as I have my loving Hub realizing that dream for me, I really don't need to know!

Thank you N for this dream holiday, Anything for you :)

Wish!

Everytime I see a baby being used by the street side beggars to beg, I feel very sorry for the baby. Such small babies all day on road in such hot sun, pollution, dust and noise.. my heart weeps for them. I once saw a baby with poop all over his bummy all dried up and crying, but the lady carrying him hardly cared. I had to stop! I spoke to the lady, gave her some money and requested her to clean him and feed him something. The sight disturbed me a lot. But when I discussed it with my hub, he talked sense, they create such disturbing scenes so that people get disturbed and give money. If that's true , I fell prey to it but otherwise with a few chances of that being genuine, that baby might have been fed.

I stopped giving money to such beggars, but I really feel the need to do something towards the cause. I don't even know if there are some groups working towards it as the occurrence of such beggars has drastically reduced but not completely eradicated.

Every child deserves a healthy childhood.
I have always contemplated adopting a baby. I truly believed that its a very noble thing to do, providing life to a child, who for no mistake of his/her has been deprived of everything.

But what I have realized is, adopting and bringing up one child is not the solution, and it also comes with a lot of baggage and needs a lot of maturity to handle all possible situations that might occur in future regarding rest of the family accepting the child as part of the family , and more importantly making the child feel secured and loved all through life.

What I have in mind is an inspired idea from my Aunt's friend in Vizag. He has started a children home, where he takes care of 15 to 20 children of all ages. Provides them all the necessities, schooling, healthy and happy childhood. He actually brings them up like his own children and along with them. He inculcates in them the need for education, makes them take up constructive and creative hobbies like candle making, soap making , greeting cards etc. I could contribute by donating money and spending an occasional day with the children at that uncle's place, but that would certainly not be enough. Those children have been taken care of, there are lot of other in need of help.

The idea is still incubating, I need to get my family's approval, logistics, gather all the required information reg licenses, more importantly finances... and most importantly reaching out to the needy children.

Mid year resolution

Whenever I hear anything bad that has happened to someone I know or don't, I kind of assure myself to believe that it cannot happen to me. It comforts me to assume that I am shielded to all bad things that can happen to me healthwise or even otherwise. Any other day, I would've passed it as positive thinking but not now, not anymore. It now sounds foolish and ridiculous. If it has happened to my best friend, I stand all the chances for it to happen to me.

We take life so much for granted that we turn a blind eye towards the guy next door falling prey to some ailment because of unhealthy lifestyle. We keep hearing more often than not these days, about exercising everyday, eating healthy, cutting down on deep fried and oily snacks, avoiding high sugar sweets, eating fresh fruits and vegetables, and the list goes on and No , it doesn't! The list ends there. If you set out to inculcate all those in your daily routine, as your lifestyle, its not all that tough too! Its definitely cant be tougher than being on medication all life through and withstanding the side-affects.
Best part is , you can have your share of occasional cheat days where you can indulge in whatever you want without having to worry about how much its going to affect your readings in the next blood test and even worse, the guilt associated with it.

I don't know how long am going to live, I can't control that. But what I can control is how healthy can I live as long as I live. I resolve to take the baby steps towards a healthy lifestyle for my family and me, for they are all I care about the most.

A prayer for good health for my friends and family...

Akshara - my cute lil super performer :)

I don't think I ever sat in the audience at any of my school annual day functions. Annual day fns at school were always about performing, practicing and having fun.
Saturday, 10th March I was sitting amongst the audience for the first time. It was my daughters annual day fn at school. Fingers crossed, and all tensed, I was only praying she does well and enjoys herself. I was worried she would be bogged down by the stage fear, so many lights and so many people. It was her first time afterall! But my daughter proved me all wrong! She was truly enjoying herself and dancing, so bindaas!

It was truly an exhilarating experience for me, to watch my little one perform on stage for the first time. I had tears of joy initially, but later on it was all about hooting and cheering for her. I can go over her video a zillion times and feel proud each time!

Parenting is really soul satisfying, and its all about being selfless and finding happiness in your children's smallest accomplishments. Highly recommended :)

Looking forward to an exciting life ahead!

I like!

1) What Others think of you is none of your business. - True, but isn't that what we are worried about most of the times? I am still trying to figure out the real ME.

2) No one is the reason for your happiness, except you Yourself. - True again, but then why are we so affected by others actions? Most of the times, the reason you are upset is someone else.

3) Don't compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is about. - So completely agree. What you see is not what you get, you get a hell lot of shit too!

4) Smile, you don't own all the problems in the world. - Agree , but My problems are problems enough to not to make me smile .

Two's company!

Yes, you guessed it right, am actually having some free time and hence this blog entry.
Last weekend, my husband was out of town and I was looking for some company for the weekend. Little did I realise that I had company, my lil sweetheart. She talks nonstop and can also actually make a conversation, ever ready to go out and have fun, hard core non veg lover and sheer joy to play with.
I had a blast, literally. Her never ending energy drove me crazy. We danced at 11:30 in the night, shared zinger burger at KFC, did loads of shopping (She actually conveys her opinion loud and clear) and we also fought - total total fun! I loved it, every moment .. precious! I never for once felt the need for any other company.
I so wish this bond remains the same and only grows stronger with time and we remain BFFs! Amen!