Dillemma of a working mom- Part 2

Am completely in awe of people who know what their priorities in life are and stick to them no matter what and work towards their priorities. I don't care what their priorities are and why!

I realised how messed up I am with regards my priorities in life. I want everything which I know is impossible and ending up being in a confused state constantly.

I decided I am going to be a stay at home mom for an year or more and give my baby all the time she needs. I couldn't stick to this one. The idea of quitting the job didn't go very well with me. I looked for work from home opportunities, thought of all other possible ideas to keep me working at home, but nothing materialised.
Finally, I ended up getting a part time job, 5 hours at office and all other time with my baby. It seemed like the perfect thing to happen. My family came over to support me , to look after my baby while I was at work. Everything seemed to be perfectly in place till I actually started working.
I try giving my 100% at work, but I have only 50% time.
I do suffer from guilt for joining back to work everyday, when my baby cries when I leave for work.
I keep thinking about her, if she has eaten well, if she has slept well, may be she needs me now, inspite of the assurance that I have left her in safe hands. The thought that she needs me and am not there keeps coming back.

My career also isn't going great , coz no matter how much effort I put in, am only putting in 5 hrs in office compared to others who are putting in 10!
What seemed to be a perfect deal, now seems to be the most loser deal! You seriously cant get everything! You need to let go!
I have friends who are working full time and are literally not seeing their babies all weekdays. They are happy coz they are doing good at work and are ok spending only weekends with their babies.
I have friends who have quit their job and are happy dedicated moms to their lil ones.
Am neither there, nor her and am not happy.

Dedicate this post to My sister Swapna , Gunjan, Pavana, Raksha, Vijaya and harsha.

I likes!

I like the concept of negative calorie foods.. U eat them and they burn ur fat :) Talk about eating and losing weight! wow!
How? They take more calories to digest than the number of calories they provide.
Negative calorie fruits:
Papaya, peach, watermelon, pineapple, apple, strawberry, orange, lemon, lime.

Negative calorie veggies:
Onion, Beetroot, brinjal, cucumber, carrot, lettuce, cauliflower, cabbage, green beans, tomato.

Others:
Oatmeal, garlic, green-tea, Low fat milk, curd, whole-grain cereal.