How much is too much?

It gets a little uncomfortable when people you are not very close with start sharing their most personal problems with you and there is hardly anything for you to do to help them out of their problem or even suggest them something to come out of the crisis they are in. 
I am not sure if its sheer coincidence or what, but in the past 2 weeks, I have been the agony aunt twice, once for my colleague and another time for my neighbour. Not that I share a super friendly relationship with them, but they have shared such personal problems which made me really uncomfortable.
I was sitting there confused , listening to their problems , not knowing what to say, not knowing what they were expecting out of me. May be all they wanted was some outlet to vent out their problems and feel better, but it left me all down. I do not like to hear problems to which I cannot offer any solution, it makes me feel powerless, helpless. It could be anyones problem. Their problems left me frustrated. I have enough in my plate to deal with and things like these, throw me out of my balance.
May be I am overreacting but seriously, why would I share my problems with someone whom I know will not be able to help me in any which way? Is it ok sometimes to just be there listen them out and leave it at that? The problem may be is with me, I cannot leave it at that. It continues to bother me.

N teases me that I think a lot unneccesarily and hence the grey hair, may be he is right!

Siblings -Revelry and Rivalry

Last month , my dad lost his younger brother and was inconsolable. He was in shock and was not ready to accept that he had lost his brother, companion, best friend and support system forever. Theres a void that cannot be filled by anyone, not him mom, wife or children. Dad lost his elder brother to cancer 15 years ago and younger brother to heart attack. Today he stands alone burdened with the responsibility of his mom, his elder and younger brothers family and his own family. I never saw him so distressed and low in my entire life, not even when he lost his dad. He always had his younger brother to share all his problems, to seek advice, to share a joke and laugh out loud and everyday nitty gritties. They made big plans of staying close by post dad's retirement and have a blast. One unfortunate event, and all plans are left shattered.
Ironically, last month I also witnessed a case of sibling rivalry , which was totally uncalled for. My mom's sister and brother. My aunt went to my uncles place for a month and those small tiffs have left huge scars in their relationship for life.
I still dont know why the blood thicker than the rest didnt work in this case. O may be I can just hope that in future it will come in to affect and they will patch up.

Love them, hate them, fight with them.. they are totally here to stay! Siblings! A special bond, to which nothing else can come close if nurtured properly.

If I look back, without my sister my childhood wouldve been so much boring and eventless. I cannot even imagine what it would've been like. We fought over every damn thing under the sky, clips to rubber bands to dresses to books to shoes.. everything! Most importantly mom n dads attention :)
The only time my sister lived in peace was before I was born I guess. But I know even she will agree, what fun it had been. We still fight, even today but we both know, given any day we both will stand up for each other. She can ask me for anything and she knows I will get it done for her and vice versa. I must also mention here that I am actually twice lucky, for being blessed with equally wonderful sister in laws. They are among the very few people I can trust my daughter with. The bond is special.

Today, I stand inspired not to deprive Akshara of this special lifetime experience which she cannot get through any of her friends or even cousins. I know what chaos my life is going to be, too much hardwork, life is going to be totally topsy turvy but in the hope that someday she is going to thank her mom like I do today!

P.S : I  only stand inspired as of today, no progress has been made yet :)

Checked in

In Pune right now. Checked in to Le Meridian , one of the best hotels of Pune. Its beautifully done and amazing room. But mazza nahin aaraha hai. I am terribly missing my daughter and H and just want to get back home and back to my routine life at Bangalore.
Last 1 week had been too taxing, too much travel , too much of emotional disturbance, and icing on the cake was today when I hospitalised for a bad stomach upset followed by low BP with no emotional support/physical help around. It was deppressing to say the least to be not able to share your suffering and all together a different struggle to keep the spirit up :)

Last week kept me away from my daughter for 4 days and I have to say, it was tough. I love the juggling routine with her around, and I actually didnt know what to do when she wasn't around. I still wonder how I spent my weekends before she was born and life was so so so boring back then :)
Love you baby and miss you so much... mwaah!

This one is another daughter isnpired post..

Its raining cats and dogs in Bangalore, everyday its a struggle to reach home safe and dry, thanks to the muddy skiddy roads and overflowing underpasses. The peak traffic woes are a given during the rainy season. While I was cribbing about my feet getting dirty, my dress getting mud stains, little did I notice that my daughter was enjoying the rain.
The other day I was taking her out on a fairly clear evening for a drive, and on the way to parking lot there were a lot of puddles. The first puddle my lil one came across, she jumped right in to it splashing the water all over. I tried to be mad at her for splashing the dirty water all over her and me but oh boy! the joy on her face .. totally worth it! All she cared was the fun she got out of the water splash, she just didnt bother about her feet getting wet or her dress getting wet. It was pure innocence wanting to have fun in a puddle of water. I could never get myself to do that, inspite of the fact that its fun and the feet can be washed and dress can be cleaned!

Why do we all grow up in to such moronic adults missing out on the fun in lil things of nature?

Pressure cooker life

Did I just few days back post I was happy? I so wish I could say that again. Right now I feel like a pressure cooker, ready to blow up any time! I also do not have a whistle to release the pressure.
Its surmounting. To keep up to things, to try and fit a lot of things in one day, to be able to maintain good health, to cook everyday, to reach office on time for calls, to reach home without getting drenched, to make sure there is something for breakfast tomorrow, to be able to catch some sleep, to be able to follow the serials, to be able to catch up with friends and the icing on the cake is to return to home to an angry husband and silly pampered child and a maid on leave.

I know its grandparents birth right to pamper their grandchildren silly but the amount of time and effort it takes to get back the children to their normal state is enormous and attrocious. Not to forget the frustration meanwhile. The kids become this so not them kids, throwing tantrums, wanting to be carried all the time and so very fussy! Arghh last thing I want with so many other things to be taken care of.

I will get through, I know. I always have. If I have managed to smile and laugh and win a series of high pressure one minute games at ofc in the last 1 week, I can do anything. All I need is a big smile and a tight hug, an assurance am not alone...

Where do I stand?

During our stay at Maldives, there was an earthquake at Indonesia  followed by the Tsunami alert. We were on a small island somewhere in the Indian Ocean with nowhere to run for shelter. To escape Death. It was scary. I wanted to live longer, I wanted to protect Akshara, I was wishing, hoping and praying, the tsunami doesn't happen, not for us but for so many others around us. The only solace was we 3 were together through the ordeal, had it been only N stuck on that island, I would've completely freaked out and somehow reached where he was.

After a close encounter with warning of death, its obvious that you tend to intospect. This is my life and have I made it large is essentially the only question you try to keep finding an answer for. You realise the value of people around you, your family , your friends,  what you have been blessed with and if you have treasured them enough. Every problem you worry about then seems insignificant. I also wanted to say sorry to number of people I had hurt, knowingly/unknowingly.

What I have is today, and have I made most of it? Have I done atleast one thing today that makes my existence here worthwhile? Have I inched towards the purpose of my life? These are some questions I would like to answer everyday before I go to bed. I want to spread cheer and give back to the society I live in. I want to do something for the deprived children, old people and the baby girl infants being tortured to death for being a girl. I do not want to die before serving my purpose and what I do today is all that matters. I had big plans of saving money and putting it to good use after couple of years down the line. Bad planning. I have put my baby step today towards my goal, and hoping to do something considerable in the days to come(if there are!)

In a happier Space..

Kuch tho hua hai
Kuch ho gaya hai

Smiling more often, feeling happier from within, life actually looks good! Am absolutely loving it!

Its not picture perfect, there are issues, but am not complaining!

Maldives - Mesmerizing, magical and memorable

It was time for our annual out of the country vacation. And after a lot of additions and deletion of options we zeroed in on Maldives. It was actually on the wishlist from a long long time. If you check out Maldives pictures on the web, am sure it will end up on your wishlist too.

Its a group of islands and each island has an exotic resort, so our first challenge was to zero in on the resort. Bad resort could result in a bad and expensive holiday. Everything in Maldives is super expensive for the obvious reason that right from water to matchbox to a pen everything is imported. For us all it mattered was for the exorbitant charges, it better look the same as it is on the website and give best in class service.

The travel agent helped us finalize on Angasana veluvaru resort, which gave us some spring discounts and a sea plane ride from Male airport and also a complimentary full board for Akshara. It did work out a lil lesser than the other resorts we had in mind.

We planned for a 4 night 5 day tour, which left a huge void in the pocket but the trip was worth every penny. Sheer luxury and exotic locales. You actually feel like living a dream. Turquoise blue beach all around, white sand, coral reef, greenery on the island, your private swimming pool , super aesthetic villa with the foam spring cot.. aagh.. I so want to go back and live the rest of my life there doing just nothing! :)

There is actually very lil for you to do there and that's the beauty, there is no hurry to get up early in the morning and catch that bus to visit n number of tourist places. All your days in Maldives will be very slow paced and at leisure.

The beach is so inviting and serene , you would be just pulled to go in to it. The moment I saw the private pool in our Villa, I jumped in to it. So beautiful and so inviting. YOu wake up in the morning and you get the view of this beautiful blue beach with green coconut trees and white sands. You come back from your breakfast and you see your private pool enticing you. Cool breeze and a walk on the white sands fill all your evenings. Starry night with the sound of waves is your thing for the night. Did you wish for anything else?

A special mention to the deep sea snorkeling. It was the most unforgettable experience for me in the entire trip. I went alone as N was not confident he would be comfortable with his limited swimming skills. The snorkeling guide gave me a life vest and the snorkeling gear and asked me to just jump from the ferry in to the deep blue sea. Those 5 seconds of jumping from the ferry and floating back on to the surface were actually very scary and then came the view of the paradise. You keep your head up and you see the vast ocean and the blue sea. You put your head down and you see the beautiful world under water. You are on your own inching forward, looking at a world you knew existed but not that mesmerizing, all you hear is your every single breath. You can see the fishes looking at you and turning away like you were an untouchable of their world. Those schools of fishes in all sizes, shapes colours... breathtaking! God created them with lot of interest trying out all his coloring skills!

Must Try: If you happen to visit Maldives, do stay for a day at the In ocean Villas, you will feel you are being pampered silly. You will feel like a royalty and a dream come true villa all yours for a day! Every hour counts then and you want to make the most of it. Over the sea hammock, Infinity pool, reclining sofas on the terrace overlooking the sea with zillions of stars to look at. Heaven

We blew up most of our last years savings in 5 days and every penny was worth it. I still don't know the exact figure we spent on this trip all inclusive, I don't want to feel guilty for the indulgence. Living a dream does come at its own cost and as long as I have my loving Hub realizing that dream for me, I really don't need to know!

Thank you N for this dream holiday, Anything for you :)

Wish!

Everytime I see a baby being used by the street side beggars to beg, I feel very sorry for the baby. Such small babies all day on road in such hot sun, pollution, dust and noise.. my heart weeps for them. I once saw a baby with poop all over his bummy all dried up and crying, but the lady carrying him hardly cared. I had to stop! I spoke to the lady, gave her some money and requested her to clean him and feed him something. The sight disturbed me a lot. But when I discussed it with my hub, he talked sense, they create such disturbing scenes so that people get disturbed and give money. If that's true , I fell prey to it but otherwise with a few chances of that being genuine, that baby might have been fed.

I stopped giving money to such beggars, but I really feel the need to do something towards the cause. I don't even know if there are some groups working towards it as the occurrence of such beggars has drastically reduced but not completely eradicated.

Every child deserves a healthy childhood.
I have always contemplated adopting a baby. I truly believed that its a very noble thing to do, providing life to a child, who for no mistake of his/her has been deprived of everything.

But what I have realized is, adopting and bringing up one child is not the solution, and it also comes with a lot of baggage and needs a lot of maturity to handle all possible situations that might occur in future regarding rest of the family accepting the child as part of the family , and more importantly making the child feel secured and loved all through life.

What I have in mind is an inspired idea from my Aunt's friend in Vizag. He has started a children home, where he takes care of 15 to 20 children of all ages. Provides them all the necessities, schooling, healthy and happy childhood. He actually brings them up like his own children and along with them. He inculcates in them the need for education, makes them take up constructive and creative hobbies like candle making, soap making , greeting cards etc. I could contribute by donating money and spending an occasional day with the children at that uncle's place, but that would certainly not be enough. Those children have been taken care of, there are lot of other in need of help.

The idea is still incubating, I need to get my family's approval, logistics, gather all the required information reg licenses, more importantly finances... and most importantly reaching out to the needy children.

Mid year resolution

Whenever I hear anything bad that has happened to someone I know or don't, I kind of assure myself to believe that it cannot happen to me. It comforts me to assume that I am shielded to all bad things that can happen to me healthwise or even otherwise. Any other day, I would've passed it as positive thinking but not now, not anymore. It now sounds foolish and ridiculous. If it has happened to my best friend, I stand all the chances for it to happen to me.

We take life so much for granted that we turn a blind eye towards the guy next door falling prey to some ailment because of unhealthy lifestyle. We keep hearing more often than not these days, about exercising everyday, eating healthy, cutting down on deep fried and oily snacks, avoiding high sugar sweets, eating fresh fruits and vegetables, and the list goes on and No , it doesn't! The list ends there. If you set out to inculcate all those in your daily routine, as your lifestyle, its not all that tough too! Its definitely cant be tougher than being on medication all life through and withstanding the side-affects.
Best part is , you can have your share of occasional cheat days where you can indulge in whatever you want without having to worry about how much its going to affect your readings in the next blood test and even worse, the guilt associated with it.

I don't know how long am going to live, I can't control that. But what I can control is how healthy can I live as long as I live. I resolve to take the baby steps towards a healthy lifestyle for my family and me, for they are all I care about the most.

A prayer for good health for my friends and family...

Akshara - my cute lil super performer :)

I don't think I ever sat in the audience at any of my school annual day functions. Annual day fns at school were always about performing, practicing and having fun.
Saturday, 10th March I was sitting amongst the audience for the first time. It was my daughters annual day fn at school. Fingers crossed, and all tensed, I was only praying she does well and enjoys herself. I was worried she would be bogged down by the stage fear, so many lights and so many people. It was her first time afterall! But my daughter proved me all wrong! She was truly enjoying herself and dancing, so bindaas!

It was truly an exhilarating experience for me, to watch my little one perform on stage for the first time. I had tears of joy initially, but later on it was all about hooting and cheering for her. I can go over her video a zillion times and feel proud each time!

Parenting is really soul satisfying, and its all about being selfless and finding happiness in your children's smallest accomplishments. Highly recommended :)

Looking forward to an exciting life ahead!

I like!

1) What Others think of you is none of your business. - True, but isn't that what we are worried about most of the times? I am still trying to figure out the real ME.

2) No one is the reason for your happiness, except you Yourself. - True again, but then why are we so affected by others actions? Most of the times, the reason you are upset is someone else.

3) Don't compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is about. - So completely agree. What you see is not what you get, you get a hell lot of shit too!

4) Smile, you don't own all the problems in the world. - Agree , but My problems are problems enough to not to make me smile .

Two's company!

Yes, you guessed it right, am actually having some free time and hence this blog entry.
Last weekend, my husband was out of town and I was looking for some company for the weekend. Little did I realise that I had company, my lil sweetheart. She talks nonstop and can also actually make a conversation, ever ready to go out and have fun, hard core non veg lover and sheer joy to play with.
I had a blast, literally. Her never ending energy drove me crazy. We danced at 11:30 in the night, shared zinger burger at KFC, did loads of shopping (She actually conveys her opinion loud and clear) and we also fought - total total fun! I loved it, every moment .. precious! I never for once felt the need for any other company.
I so wish this bond remains the same and only grows stronger with time and we remain BFFs! Amen!

New but not sure how nice!

Life's changed. New routine started Nov 2nd. Took up a full time job at IonIdea and it affected all facets of my life. I knew it would be difficult and I had to be strong from before but felt the actual punch only after getting my feet wet in the water.
I couldn't get enough sleep on 1st Nov, lot of apprehensions, anxiety, some strange sort of mixed bag of feelings. I was starting on a journey I wasn't very sure of. And to add confusion to things, it was entirely my decision to go for the full time job and hence completely responsible for all the consequences.
I set up everything to make sure Akshara would be taken care of, but I wasn't sure how she would cope up with the separation anxiety. It was only later though I realized, it was me who was more affected by it. To trust someone else with your baby is the toughest thing in the world. There are these zillion thoughts coming up in your mind, did she eat well, has she slept, did she play enough, she must be feeling lonely, and the worst.. she is quite happy without me around! Any which way, your mind is in a messed up state all day and add work pressure and time management to it. Welcome to working mothers world.
If my baby wishes me good bye cheerfully while I leave, it leaves me with self doubts. If my baby cries while I leave for work, it leaves me with loads of guilt. In any case, I am not happy while I leave for work.
Once I reach office, the thoughts are completely taken over by the work. And like some magic, there's an alarm that goes at 12 in my mind. Baby might've returned from school, did the maid pick her up at time, did my baby eat well? One call for reassurance and then am back at work.
It by 5 in the evening that I start getting restless. Any work that comes up after that is not welcome. I just cannot concentrate and keep looking at the watch to see when would it be the right time to pack up. Akshara is all I can think of from then. I ignore the wtf glares from colleagues and pack my bags and leave early everyday. They never fail to give me those looks , never. I race through the traffic and reach home. Best part of my day begins then. The part I look forward to all day. I get to spend a good 4 hours with my baby and I love it all.

It takes a lot of inner strength to go through each day and each day is different from the one before. The courage and strength I display gets shattered by things like some neighbour telling me my daughter misses me during the afternoons and cries or I hear my daughter cry over the phone or I feel the maid is not feeding my daughter the way I want her to or if she is letting my daughter watch more tv. Some days are just perfect, and some days are full of self doubts.

I am not sure if after reading all this, you are wondering why I am doing all this if I am not happy about doing it. Fact is I am happy that I am working now, it brings me back my identity, makes me feel a little worthwhile using my brains, energizes me, and I love working and make some money. So no regrets there. There is another good thing to all this, I now value the time I get to spend with my daughter, its precious and pure . Nothing else comes before that. I never really valued the time when I was not working, cause I was not happy within. I was in quest for something else.

I love you Akshara, you are a wonderful daughter. Thank you so much! I cannot ask for anything more. You made the whole thing look so much more easier and smoother by not crying, and accepting the change. I love you, truly madly deeply..

Turning thirty...

The frequency of "Oh my god.. I am such a stupid" and "Gosh I look so yuck in all the snaps" has increased these days. Birthdays are no longer fun , in fact dreadful. Is it the nearing thirty effect? They say its the best of life till 30 and after that its just the donkey life. Keep working hard and more harder.
How nearing thirty has affected me big time:
1) I have started using anti ageing creams
2) I spot more and more grey hairs
3) Full day of work leaves me exhausted
4) Skipping the regular exercise makes me feel stiffer and guilty.
5) I can no longer sleep till noon.(How much I miss my sleeping marathon days.. the weekends just vanished between eating maggi and sleeping)
6) I keep looking at my tummy bulge and silently wish that it disappeared on its own.
7) I am so used to being called Aunty
8) I cannot study continuously for more than 2 hours. Concentration levels have dipped to lowest levels possible.
9) I shop only dark shade clothes and tops that camouflage the shapeless me.
10)Mood swings.. smallest of things can put me off and someone said babies help improving your patience levels. Darn!

I would love to believe in the concept that age is just a number and you are as young as you feel at heart! But, kinda tough with the symptoms mentioned above. You are forced to believe that you ARE getting older. I miss being the carefree spirit I was, with nothing to bother about, on the spur plans, anytime shopping, movies, eating out and carried even the out of bed look with panache. It's gone.. all gone now. The donkey life has begun!

A small wish : I want to travel back in time and become my daddy's little princess again and get pampered silly. Can I take Akshara along?

The hopeless me Series : Part 2

I bothered my mom and dad way too much while growing up. Never ending demands, complaints from neighbourhood children, too much fuss over everything, never studied well and still demanded to be loved always!
Now when I look back, I gave my dad the toughest time in bringing me up, yet he never gave up. he kept trying no matter how much I irritated him. He succeeded in teaching me swimming in 2 years, cycling in 2 months, and waking me up early in the morning in 20 years.
I think I was in my ninth class when my dad felt I was way too healthy(you can read FAT) for my age and I badly needed some exercise. He enrolled my sister and me in shuttle coaching classes that summer. 2 days, just 2 days and I quit the classes. My reasons:1) Coach made me run way too much in the name of warm up exercise. 2) Nobody hit the shuttle to where I stood in the court, I always had to run for the shuttle which I wouldn't.
Reasons were absurd but I wouldn't budge. My dad never again tried any other sport activity with me.

Hopeless me Series: Part 1

Welcome to the new series of my life "The hopeless me". Just to enlighten you about how hopeless I have been through out my life but still made it through all these years.
Couple of days back I was reminded of this one incident that happened years ago and was embarrassed no end. here goes the story for you...

I was never particularly a very bright student in my life, never ever got a first rank and if I did, my dad would've got a shock attack. So, as you see the expectations were also so low from me that it never struck me to try harder to raise the bar.

In my tenth standard, there were these loads of examinations being conducted, hopes, pre hopes, term exams etc. Geography was my biggest threat. The exam usually was for 40 marks and I never got more than 18 out of 40. Sometimes lesser but never more. 18 was more or less a consistent score. I hated the subject, I didnt know why the earth was divided in to so many continents and each continent in to so many countries and why each country should have a capital. I don't care how many kinds of forests are there(I remeber 2 now tropical and rain, wow!) and I can never point out the exact location of Ganges in a blank outline of India map. I used to be so stressed out before every geography exam that my dad finally decided to help me out. Make me sit and study and explain everything. He helped me a lot, woke me up early in the morning to explain geography and made me by heart stuff. All this before a pre hope exam as far as I remember. This time I entered the exam hall more confidently thinking I was a master in geography now and gave the paper. The results were out soon. Trust me I didn't want to go home that day. I so wanted to die out of shame. I showed my answer sheet with scores to my dad, and as expected he was shocked, shocked that I scored 19 out of 40 after all the effort he put in. 1 extra mark for all the effort!!!??? He never again asked me for my geography score again :) He completely gave up on me!
Best part was I somehow managed to beat that score in the final board exam. I managed to score 82 out of 100 in social science, but I will never know how much exactly did I score in geography!

Regrets?.. NO!

I read an article in the newspaper on Sunday about people having regrets over the decisions they have taken in the past. With lots of ifs and buts kind of thoughts ruining your present, thinking life would've been better if only they took some other decision.

Most of us take life's most important decisions before we are mature enough to understand their impact its going to have on our lives. And my guess is, for most of us, those decisions are taken by our parents. So it's obvious that later in life, you go over your past and think what if you opted to go for the other choice than the one you are living with! and such thoughts come only when you are not happy now.

Luckily for me, most of my life changing decisions have all been taken by me. So, I really don't have anyone to blame for the life I am leading . And am Happy, I got a chance to take those decisions, but the only regret I have is, I didn't put the right amount of thought those decisions deserved. At 14, I decided to go for Math stream , at 16 I decided to become an engineer and at 20 I decided to start working and not study further. At 21 to marry and settle down in India and at 22, whom to marry!

Sometimes, thoughts wander to past with lots of if's and but's but at the end of day, there are absolutely no regrets. Things have happened as per destiny and for good.

My sweety turned 2

Happy birthday Akshara. It's been 2 years since I saw you first time, tiny ,pink, crying loud and clear in the nurse's hands and 2 yrs 9 months to our first association. Time really flies.

Where has the time gone, when you fitted perfectly in my arms, small and cuddly, when you actually cried for milk and relished it everytime I fed you, you only knew to smile you sunshine smile and never cranky. My small cotton candy ball has now transformed in to a small girl , a little worldly wise who knows how to get things done her way, who knows when to say NO(vehemently that is), who knows which dress she likes best, who can now look in to mirror and admire herself and worst of all hates milk and cries every morning to gulp down that small glass of milk!(same girl who used to cry through the night for milk, milk and milk just an year back)

She now goes to school, can stand in front of the scooty, come back home on her own in the school van, play fearlessly with the cat, swing on her own, has a group of friends, feels bad when she is mocked, can sing the songs "happy birthday to you","old mc donald", and "wheels on the bus". She loves books, is iPod crazy (She can unlock it, take pictures, play her videos(finding nemo, Rio, Lion King 2) and also play some kid apps in it).

Love you sweety for the amazing years and more to come, which am sure are going to be equally crazy, happy, busy and fun filled if not more!

The 3 magic words

The words "I Love you" have magical effect on you everytime someone says it to you. And all the more when you know how much the other person means it. I realized there is no true translation for it to that effect in any other languages that I know. Say for hindi, when you say "main tumse pyaar karti hoon", or "mujhe tumse pyaar hai" will have zero effect on the other person and it sounds so off and dramatic. Nothing compared to what "I love you" does for you.

How do you just express your love in telugu? What do you say that conveys the exact feeling? I tried to form different phrased but all sounded horribly melodramatic and nothing that perfectly matches "I love you".

1)Ninnu premisthunnanu

2)nee pai prema vachindi(yuckk I knw)

3) Ninne premista (Violent)

4)nuvvu naa preyasi/priya

Now I wonder what my grandpa told my grandpa when he had to just tell her he loves her. I can bet my life, he wouldnt have said ILU to her, something in telugu it has to be. he would kill me if I asked him that. or for that matter ,is there any Indian language which has an expression that matches ILU, short and sweet, something that conveys your emotion and state of mind to the other person with the perfect effect.

Signing off in quest...